Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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