girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
pray to the hookup gods
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
