i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize