I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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