Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
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I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
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I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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