So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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