I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize