you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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