It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
