Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
