i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
