Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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