Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
