I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
