I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
