yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
