You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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