i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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