I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
