rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
