omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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