ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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