Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
