she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
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Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
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What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
is it fun? or sober?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize