did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
