Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
