scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
