I wish I could punch you in the face.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
