gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
