if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
