I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
