he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
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