I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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