I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Houston, we have a squirter
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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