You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
