Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
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