She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
