you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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