When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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