like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
