Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
