He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
