I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
