Texts From Last Night

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  (949): View more from California

  Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old

  (503): View more from Oregon

  You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.

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  (949): Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old (503): You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24. http://tfl.nu/2eqo
  Replies (7) Good night (900) Bad night (1203)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it

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  (978): Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it http://tfl.nu/f2y4
  Replies (10) Good night (1154) Bad night (722)
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  (585): View more from New York

  the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please

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  (585): the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please http://tfl.nu/85bu
  Replies (38) Good night (1048) Bad night (3485)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.

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  (706): Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day. http://tfl.nu/8doe
  Replies (17) Good night (7933) Bad night (790)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.

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  (828): there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not. http://tfl.nu/i6ea
  Replies (96) Good night (1484) Bad night (4695)
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  (626): View more from California

  HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?

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  (626): HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN? http://tfl.nu/rsqz
  Replies (51) Good night (6195) Bad night (2363)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.

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  (210): The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him. http://tfl.nu/79ut
  Replies (9) Good night (5146) Bad night (1376)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?

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  (503): All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for? http://tfl.nu/oe9a
  Replies (10) Good night (3033) Bad night (1091)
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  (805): View more from California

  I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.

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  (805): I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins. http://tfl.nu/apj9
  Replies (4) Good night (3130) Bad night (1703)
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  (909): View more from California

  I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...

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  (909): I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji... http://tfl.nu/rxc7
  Replies (5) Good night (928) Bad night (446)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.

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  (913): The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops. http://tfl.nu/e530
  Replies (13) Good night (1728) Bad night (822)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.

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  (610): I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four. http://tfl.nu/hflm
  Replies (0) Good night (516) Bad night (731)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.

  (1-253): View more from Washington

  Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.

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  (253): Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now. (1-253): Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now. http://tfl.nu/vki8
  Replies (2) Good night (718) Bad night (369)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...

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  (215): Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment... http://tfl.nu/6162
  Replies (1) Good night (618) Bad night (334)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool

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  (816): In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool http://tfl.nu/q94y
  Replies (1) Good night (506) Bad night (231)

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