I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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