i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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