Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
