so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
