My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize