Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
