I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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