I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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