she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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