Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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