i may or may not be watching the land before time
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
