dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
