Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I need moral support for this bender
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
These tits shall not be calmed
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
