so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
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Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
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Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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