Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
