Pants 0. Shit 1.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
