road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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