he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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