he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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