Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
