I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
do herpes really smell.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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