So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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